Kingston Raised

Curious about the person behind the scenes at PHraseD? Well, get to know Kimberlie, Kim, Trouble, Dr. Harris, Doc one entry at a time. Kingston Raised is a little about where I’m from, but mostly it’s about my two year old son, Kingston, and how I’ve come to realize that I’m not raising him, he’s raising me. We will also look into all the things that makes me, well me, like teaching, fitness, cooking and many more .

The 1 Reason H.B.O. Got it Wrong:

Epic Failure in the Game of Thrones Finale

So, two years ago as I was nursing my son, I needed shows to binge watch during some of his marathon feedings and stumbled across LOST. I was immediately hooked and watched it every spare moment I had where I wasn’t changing, washing, doing tummy time or taking him for check ups. As I started nearing the end of the series, my husband asked had I seen the reviews on how terrible the ending was. I hadn’t and didn't care. I couldn’t imagine the amazing show I’d grown to love could have an ending worthy of the hate he was describing. Alas, I was wrong. Atrocious doesn’t even begin to describe it ! It was so bad, I regretted the countless hours I’d sacrificed when I could have been doing something else, anything else. The LOST finale crushed me. Before Sunday, May 19th, it held the top spot as the worst finale I had ever seen.

It has taken me 9 whole days to try to explain exactly why I think the Game of Thrones finale was so horrible, and I think it’s finally hit me, now that I’ve calmed down. The exact issue, and not the countless other things I hated in the finale, is the ending doesn’t line up with what we have been previously trained to believe about the characters and series in general. The 1 reason H.B.O. got it wrong is...since when is birthright not of the utmost importance in this show? Game of Thrones is literally based on birthrights and the rightful claim to the throne. We’ve watched countless characters, houses and worlds swallowed up in the debate over birthright and legitimacy for 8 seasons and now that that birthright and legitimacy should’ve been the saving grace for Aegon Targaryen, a.k.a., Jon Snow, it is dismissively ignored so that the most powerful lords and ladies can appoint Bran the Broken. Say what now, H.B.O.?! Have you lost your minds?

Jon Snow is treated like filth all his life because... he is illegitimate and a bastard. Daenerys and Viserys Targaryen are hunted their entire existences because... they are the main threats to Robert Baratheon’s claim to the throne, due to their birthright. Robert Baratheon’s illegitimate bastards, who are more legitimate than his “children” with Cersei Lannister, are hunted and killed because, yes, they can threaten Cersei’s childrens’ claim to the throne and on and on and on. It has been firmly established in Game of Thrones that birthright and legitimacy is of tantamount import. So now in season 8, when we discover that Jon Snow is really Aegon Targaryen and the rightful heir to the throne what do they do? Absolutely nothing. Even worse than that, they provide this pitiful rationale to explain why Bran the Broken is best suited to rule.

I couldn’t believe it. I sat in stunned anger at the t.v. What made it worse is Tyrion Lannister (my favorite character outside of Jon) used the issue of Jon’s birthright as a part of his argument, outside of the fact she had gone stark raving mad, to persuade him to kill Dany. Never mind that killing her would’ve been completely unnecessary if they had just made it known he was the rightful heir to these same lords and ladies they assembled after the deed was done. I could’ve forgiven them for that oversight if they had had Tyrion, once he had a chance to plead his case to the lords and ladies, give the most important information he had at his disposal, the truth. Jon killing Dany was not any betrayal against the throne because she never was the rightful heir to it. In fact, she was a usurper and was attempting to keep the truth from everyone else. Jon/Aegon’s killing her was in service of the 7 kingdoms and his selflessness in killing her was more testament that he was the best choice to lead the kingdoms. In this scenario, I feel even Greyworm, when faced with the truth of Dany’s actions may have been willing to relent a little in his blood lust. Not one person, not one person of the two that knew, Tyrion and Sansa mentioned the most important fact at hand, Dany was never the rightful heir to the iron throne and Jon acted out of allegiance to and love for the 7 kingdoms.

A part of me didn’t write this blog because I was hanging on to hope that the terrible ending hadn’t happened, and that we had all somehow hallucinated it together (LOST fans, see what I just did there?). Just like I felt with LOST, I want my time back. I’m seriously wondering if I can sue for damages and loss of hours of my life. More importantly, it hurt that they had beloved characters act idiotically and so far of out character to suit an ill conceived ending. There were a million things to hate about the finale, but the 1 reason H.B.O. got the Game of Thrones finale wrong is they tried to undo in one episode, really a few minutes, what they had drilled into us for 71 episodes, 70.7 hours and 4,242 minutes!

Daenerys Targaryen: The Making of the Mad Queen

Halloween 2013

Batman said it best, “You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”

Where to start? Revolted, disgusted...That’s how I felt watching tonight’s episode of Game of Thrones. I have cheered and celebrated Daenerys Stormborn through the entire Game or Thrones series and a part of me snapped watching who she has become. Daenerys was already hanging by a thread with the loss of Viserion and the decimation of the Unsullied and Dothraki in the fight against the Night King. She further bent under the painful death of Rhaegal. Add to that the brutal beheading of Missandei, and I was pretty sure the recipe for a Mad Queen was being concocted.

Tonight, when Tyrion, in all his wisdom, outed Varys, and showed Dany that she was right to believe she didn’t have anyone, I saw the doors being firmly closed on any hope that she would be the great ruler she could have been. Nope, but let’s not stop there. Enter Aegon Targaryen (Jon Snow), her nephew, who refuses to take up the mantle that is his throne to bear, but tries to offer some flimsy affirmation of love and loyalty, while refusing her kiss. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not what she wants from you at this point, good sir.

It then came as no surprise that though the bell rang, signaling the surrender of the Red Keep, the Mad Queen was too far gone to hear it. Dany finally succumbs to all of her “injuries” and allows the fire inside her to consume her whole. Lest we judge her too harshly, let’s remember the atrocities that have been leveled against her:

Orphaned by her family’s brutal deaths.
Too many assassination attempts to count from the time she was born.
Abused physically and mentally by her brother, Viserys
Traded for an army of 40,000 of Khal Drogo’s men.
Chained and raped.
Now insert the new atrocities in Season 8

When you consider all the variables, it becomes easy to understand the mad woman we saw in episode 5 burning everyone and everything in sight. All that being said, those atrocities do not absolve her of her actions, and now I want her eradicated,as much as I wanted Cersei gone. This is hard for me to say because she was easily one of my favorites, along with Jon, Arya and Tyrion. It’s my hope that Arya, Aegon (Jon) or Tyrion see to her just demise, and hopefully before she kills Tyrion for failing her again, by releasing Jaime. Tonight, I mourned the death of what could’ve been a great leader and accepted what is left behind in her place, the Mad Queen. I guess you can’t outrun your family or destiny.

Motherhood: Selective Amnesia

An Open Letter to Moms Everywhere

You are some amazing liars, lol. Amazing liars! Now, that I’m on this side of the fence though, I get that you have to be for the sake of the continuation of the species. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating, but I think every mother has a huge case of selective amnesia. We apply it liberally to the birthing process, especially those who chose the no epidural route. For those who adopted, you apply it to all the hoops and steps you have to survive to get to your child. We also apply our amnesia to breast feeding and feeding in general, blow out diapers, the lack of sleep we receive to tend to our angels, tantrums, and all the teenage years. I think my exact words to one of my beloved friends, once I crossed over into the dark side, I mean motherhood, was “Why didn’t you warn me?” To be fair though, no amount of warning would suffice, and what would be the point. No warning would change our desire to become mothers.

I have the utmost respect for every mother and mother figure in the world! I have said it before, and will continue to say it. Motherhood is the most difficult thing I have ever attempted. Yes, attempted because you never feel, as a mother, that you’re doing it right or that your job is done. Being a mother is the thing that I’m most proud of in life. I feel blessed and honored to be among your ranks. As the clock ticks down to Mother’s Day, here are some things I want to say to each of you:

Your work is invaluable and you’re loved. Even when you feel unappreciated, keep going. Your child loves you, even if they don’t show it now. One day they will understand all you’ve done and thank you for it!
Take the pictures. Baby weight, hair a mess, spit up everywhere? Regardless of the reasons not to, take the picture. You will look back at those memories and those “problems” will be the last thing you see.
It’s ok to need a break and/or ask for help. Your child and family will be better off if you take care of yourself. Shake off the feelings of guilt and leave the house for a bit or let your loved ones know you need their help.
You are not alone. We are all overwhelmed, exhausted, elated, in love with our children and trying to figure it out and do the best we can.
Celebrate the victories. If you toddler ate all of their vegetables at lunch, celebrate. Child brought up that C to a B, celebrate. Being a mom is hard, so when your hard work has proven successful, celebrate.
Most importantly, Happy Mother’s Day, beautiful!

It Only Takes a Stark: The Epic Heroism of Arya and Tony Stark

Ever since Sunday, April 28th, I have been walking around everywhere singing, “It only takes a Stark to get the fire going…” Now you might be wondering what in the world I’m talking about: What is a Stark and why or how does a Stark help to start a fire? Just, hear me out. There’s a song I was taught when I was a child, probably elementary aged, and it goes, “It only takes a spark to get a fire going...,” but since watching Avengers: Endgame and Game of Thrones, episode 3, I've remixed it because clearly all anyone needs to save the world from death and desolation is ...a Stark. Apparently, it really doesn’t matter which either. Although to be fair, I don’t know that Tony Stark would’ve been effective against the Night King, nor would it really have worked out for Arya Stark to face off against Thanos. Nevertheless, as of this weekend, the title of ultimate hero is held, in a two way tie, by Tony and Arya Stark!

This led me to wonder if the two franchises planned this or if it really was an epic coincidence. Regardless, it’s a marketing gift! I would create opportunities to feature them together, to cross market and capitalize on the popularity and following of each franchise. Then I’d be poised to snag new fans and reach new eyes when invariably comic book fans researched “the girl” with Tony Stark and vice versa.

For anyone who is still not following and who may have missed out on the colossal debuts on the weekend of April 28th, let me catch you up to speed. Warning, if you haven’t watched Avengers: Endgame or Game of Thrones, episode 3, and plan to, exit now. In the highly anticipated final installment of Avengers Endgame, all seems lost when Thanos interrupts the well scripted plans of the Avengers to undo his 50% reduction of life. Thanos battles the remaining flailing Avengers: Ironman (Tony Stark), Thor, Hulk, Ant-Man, Captain America, Hawkeye, Rocket Racoon, Captain Marvel, and the newly acquired Gamora and present day, Nebula. Unfortunately for them, after a valiant effort, Thanos regains control of the infinity stones.

Fans shrink, realizing that it has all come down to this, and that Thanos is about to make good on his promise to ensure “there’s no one to remind the humans of what they’ve lost.” When Thanos snaps his finger, we wait with bated breath, but nothing happens . It is then that it’s revealed that Tony had removed the infinity stones during their fight. Then in the ultimate sacrificial moment, Tony Stark snaps his fingers defeating Thanos and his legion and removing them from Earth. For true fans, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Tony is one of the most beloved Avengers and had not even wanted to engage in this highly improbable mission, to regain the vanished 50%. Unlike the majority of his Avenger pals and the remaining population, in the 5 years since “the event ”Tony and Pepper had had a daughter, and were lucky enough to be living a pretty idyllic life. His happiness , however, was plagued by their failure against Thanos, and mostly by the loss of Spiderman. The sacrifice from Tony Stark is even more poignant because he has never been the self sacrificing type. As a matter of fact, his entire character is guided by his belief in practicality and logic, so this selfless decision, though admittedly the ‘right’ one, was not one most fans would have expected from him. We see in the final scenes that Tony Stark has fully transitioned from the business mogul of Stark industries into the hero, Iron Man.

Now, not so little Lady Arya Stark also rose to ultimate hero status. Game of Thrones fans have watched this smart mouthed tomboy, since the early days of Winterfell, make her own rules. They continued to love her as she traveled with her father, Ned Stark, to King's Landing and easily sniffed out the evil that was the Lannisters, even though her sister, Sansa, was smitten with them. We furthered marveled at her tenacity, when after the death of her father, she continued her training and against what seemed liked insurmountable odds became one of the servants of the many faced god. We watched in awe as she killed those who had wronged her, checking names off her kill list, and as she challenged The Hound, with no trace of fear. In season 8, episode 3, we finally see the ultimate fulfillment of Arya’s destiny, when she faces down the wights, even though it was clear she felt a crippling fear. Cornered in the library of her Winterfell home, we get the sinking feeling that Arya has come home to die, when she is overwhelmed by the wights. That is until the Hound and Beric Dondarrion come to her rescue.

Once they make it to safety and are joined by Melisandre, our interest is piqued because we saw in earlier scenes how Melisandre was instrumental in giving the “living” a sense of hope and a fighting chance, even if it was fleeting. I don’t think any of us realized, until it happened, just how important a discussion on eye color could be: “dark eyes, green eyes and blue eyes.” When Arya replies, “Not today” to the question of what she had to say to the Night King, I still don’t think we fully grasped what was about to come. For me, it wasn’t until she was nestling the dragonglass into the chest of the Night King that I realized that outside of Tony, Arya Stark is the most prolific Stark there ever was, and that they had both transcended into a previously uncharted rank of heroes. Like I said before, Marvel and HBO if you haven’t started working on this marketing plan, or if you have and need help, call me, I have some gems I’d love to share. To my earlier point, I stand by my opening, “It only takes a Stark to get the ratings going.”

It's Not Tasty Enough

Hi, I’m Kim, and I’m the owner of PHraseD. I started PHraseD to blend my love of writing, teaching, and helping others. Fun fact: I was born and raised in Kingston, Jamaica. I actually came to the U.S. because of a scholarship for college. In this section of the website, I’m going to share all things Kim with you: educator, mom, business woman, Game of Thrones and comic lover. You’ll never know what you’re gonna get from entry to entry, but I think you’ll enjoy the insider’s look. My blog title is a little about where I’m from, but mostly it’s about my two year old son, Kingston, and how I’ve come to realize that I’m not raising him, he’s raising me. No, like really, I’ve learned more being his mother than I have in all the years before, and that’s including 3 years in a PhD program.

Case in point, Kingston’s favorite thing to say right now is, “It’s not tasty enough!” I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard that phrase and the feelings it used to stir up. Joy: To be fair this was only the first time he said it, because it was plain adorable. He said it out of the blue and with so much sincerity about some dinner my husband had tried to give him that we both couldn’t help it. We just laughed. Off to the side,of course, so he couldn’t see, but it was downright adorable when he said it, “I... don’t... want... it (singsong voice). It’s not tasty enough.” It was the longest group of words he had ever strung together too. The joy passed quickly and got replaced by incredulity. You asked me for cheese toast and I made cheese toast? Nevertheless, his response was the same,“I... don’t... want... it (singsong voice). It’s not tasty enough.” After a few days, I was straight up annoyed. What do you mean it’s not tasty enough? I’m a great cook and you ate all of this meatloaf and vegetables yesterday.

Things got worse when he went through a grits and cheese toast only diet. He literally ate Quaker Instant Grits (2 packets) at dinner each evening with two slices of oven toasted bread and cheese slices. My husband and I worried about the nutrients he was missing, but could not get him to budge and eat anything else, and we at least wanted him to be eating something. Did I mention? Prior to these 4 dreadful words, Kingston had an amazing appetite and palate. His “It’s not tasty enough” phase literally happened overnight and took us by storm. I mean , before he used to inhale food and ate a wide variety of Jamaican, American, Chinese...you name it, cuisine. Thankfully, he only did this at dinner time and was still eating normally during breakfast and lunch. Even so, after weeks of the “It’s not tasty enough,”emotional roller coaster, I was at my wits end.

Then one day I didn’t just hear the words my son said, I listened to them. That’s when I realized my son might be the smartest person I know. Why? Because at two, he’d decided he wasn’t going to put anything in his body that he didn’t think was worth it. Now, I’m sure some of you will say he shouldn’t have that choice, make him eat what you’ve made yada yada yada, and there’s a time and place for that, but this wasn’t the time, nor the place. Like I mentioned before, he’d always been a great eater, so when this happened I knew he was partially trying to assert his independence and also develop his own food identity, so to speak. Point being, it wasn’t a battle I needed to win at that time and I thought it was one he needed to win. Anyhow, back to why he’s possibly the smarted person I know. How many things in life can we apply his “It’s not tasty enough rule to? Countless right! I will not consume, deal with, be around or engage in anything that I don’t think is worthy or “tasty” enough. Even if I thought it was worthy and “tasty” yesterday or minutes before right now.

Ever since I’ve had this ah-hah moment, I’ve started trying to put my son’s rule in place with everything. Toxic friendship? “It’s not tasty enough!” So-so outfit? “It’s not tasty enough!” Food that’s there, but that I really don’t like or want? “It’s not tasty enough!” To recap, my son, Kingston, is probably a genius, he is definitely the one doing the raising, and you should continue to read and subscribe to PHraseD to learn about me. Also, you should reach out to PHraseD, if you need professional writing or editing. We’d love to help you “Make the Write Impact.”